Dave

Guy in dentist’s office: “Help, I think I’m a moth.” D: “Why’d you come in here, I’m a dentist?” G: “Your light was on.” #HalloweenJokes

Why did the bone go to the party? So he could put himself back together! Why did the monster go? Because it was a dance! #HalloweenJokes

Desperation sets in: Why did we come to this house? To get candy #HalloweenJokes

You know it’s getting late when the jokes turn into this: “Why are we here? Because we’re out of jokes!” #HalloweenJokes

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey! #HalloweenJokes

I love the topical ones: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pok’er face! #HalloweenJokes

Why’d a cat live in a pumpkin? Because it’s crazy. #HalloweenJokes

By far the most common one on our block this year: What do skeletons say before they eat? Bone appetit! #HalloweenJokes

What’s the world’s largest pickle? A beagle. (Ok, I may have misheard this one. Maybe.) #HalloweenJokes

How do you get out of a house with no doors & no windows & all you have is a ball & a bat? Three strikes & you’re out! #HalloweenJokes

What’s the smartest blond? A golden retriever! #HalloweenJokes

How does a witch tell time? With a witch watch! #HalloweenJokes

How do you make a witch itch? Take away the w! #HalloweenJokes

What does a witch put in her hair? Scarespray. #HalloweenJokes

Why didn’t the rooster cross the road? Because it wasn’t a chicken! #HalloweenJokes

What kind of fish fights? A swordfish! #HalloweenJokes

Yikes! What starts with f and ends in ck? Firetruck! #HalloweenJokes

What’s a ghost’s favorite shoes? Boots! #HalloweenJokes

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To save his bones! #HalloweenJokes

Knock knock / spyhead / who / spyhead eats your head off! #HalloweenJokes

What do you get with 5 Siths stacked on a lightsaber? A Sith Kabob! #halloweenjokes

Why couldn’t Chingy get on the bus? Because he didn’t have 50 cent with him.

What did Delaware? New Jersey!

Why do Eskimos clean their clothes inside? Because it’s too cold outside!

The Halloween jokes begin: why do sharks swim in saltwater? Pepperwater makes them sneeze!