Dave

Everything has cup holders now. Everything. So why don’t planes?

At least in Seattle I can imagine that the adults wearing Angry Birds shirts might just be Zynga employees. Oh wait, no, that’s Rovio. Ugh.

Got my first “explosives detected” red alert going through TSA. Cleared on 2nd run-through. I should get a badge or something. #helloNSA

If you put a clock on your wall, never remove it, because you will never, ever stop looking at that wall to see the time.

If you never got the awesome iOS game The Incident, it’s free for now. Get it. I’ll be checking your phone later. t.co/WknV7ba1v…

The only positive outcome of unjust court rulings is at least a momentary decline in otherwise qualified citizens shirking jury duty.

.@smiller I’m going to guess that how funky strong my fight is is inversely proportionate to how funky is my chicken.

Getting close to 40 years old and I still don’t have a good idea how funky strong is my fight.

More annoying than domain squatters are domains owned from an acquisition, that no longer make any sense but can never be allowed to expire.

Apple should release a beige box iPhone for irony.

“Mr. Rutledge? Uh no, I’m Dave, Mr. Rutledge is my baby’s name.”

I’d watch a documentary on how the raisin bran makers keep the raisins evenly distributed through the box.

With all the warnings & alerts on baby gear, I’m disappointed our baby tub doesn’t advise us to not throw the baby out with the bath water.

At the playground a kid was talking to his imaginary friend, Harold. Meanwhile, I killed a bee. So, uh, it turned out that bee was Harold.

Like those riding lawn mowers that you stand behind, but a baby stroller.

Dear 1990s photographer me - people, not things. You’ll never again look at the pics without people in them.

I bet if, when I die, I can take account of positives & negatives over my whole life, I’ll see I should’ve just stuck with a wired keyboard.

A few years back my finger missed the “stop recording” button on my iPhone & since, I’ve been recording the inverse of everything I want to.

The most surprising thing about the AMBER alerts complaints is that you all don’t have your mute switch on.

Browser plug-in idea: on user registration forms, check the unchecked boxes and uncheck the checked boxes.

I’d pay $10/month for accurate text transcriptions of my favorite podcasts, and $20/month for quality summaries & quotes.

I feel like @klout taunts me with weird score changes just to say “Are you sure you don’t care about your Klout score? Really?”

Of all the common and frequently used “a” words, the absolute last one needing an abbreviated symbol had to be “at”.

I bet when they were brainstorming what types of things people might do with Twitter, someone kept saying “snigglets!”

Apparently the kid had a relatively quiet night, which my brain nicely made up for by giving me dreams of him upset & crying all night.