Did “jerk” used to mean something other than a mean bastard? I’ve always found @SteveMartinToGo’s The Jerk oddly titled.
I’m assuming this whole “the monocle is back” @nytimes article & supposed trend is just pre-marketing for the next generation Google Glass.
Why is my visual prescription based on whether I think a or b is clearer? It’s not like they ask me to guess at my blood pressure.
Tonx has the only company t-shirts I ever wear. Try out some of their awesome coffee so I can get another one: t.co/HJAv5ANi7…
You shoot for the sky, you hopeful @kickstarter projects with $1M+ goals, pledges well under $10k, ending soon: t.co/nF608wKAS…
Ooh, @xoxo may actually not be on the same weekend as initial iPhone orders this year! (Unless Apple changes their pattern to spite us.)
Free million dollar ideas for @juniormintstri: expand your family of products to bigger Senior Mints and smaller Mints, III.
We’ve come a long way, baby. #toofar t.co/lYCDUThzw…
At first I thought “I’m glad I’m not the type of person who retweets compliments & praise” & then realized I haven’t had to face that issue.
If I ever go back in time to the 1880s I’m going to disrupt the stereogram device industry by showing people how to cross their eyes.
Dorothy is described as the height of a munchkin. So is Glenda. And it would seem a munchkin scarecrow would be munchkin height, right?
Customer service is important & t.co/S9KFi5HA4… is a good tool, but calling it “heroism” is pretty offensive. t.co/5PnbGBcuv…
Holy crap, I scored 21,114 in @ThreesGame! t.co/y8JPStwG3… t.co/8wN4RpkVu…
Guess I’m giving up on coming up with an amazing idea to use for t.co/cxqdyEZmZ… despite the obvious awesomeness of that name.
At dinner, @___ started eating all his vegetables. @__ & I watched quietly, like we were seeing a pitcher in the 9th of a perfect game.
And people wonder if there’s any real benefit to Lightning Connectors over the old 30-pin: t.co/E5dzFgJ7k…
If I made Flappy Bird & hated its addictive quality, I’d issue patches that squeezed the openings closer until it was literally impossible.
The World Series losing team is the most eager to start again. Play-by-play of packing equipment for Spring Training: t.co/X21AtUyYx…
Just leaving this amazing opportunity out there for any of you to make use of: t.co/F4Gfn1kVX…