Dave

Just got an @NOAA weather alert titled “Hydrologic Outlook Issued” which I think means “It’s going to rain a lot.”

Bet you all wish you got to play Wheel Of Fortune in your DMs like I do: t.co/gLeb0o4gK…

Is Chex singular or plural? A Chex? Many Chex? If it’s singular, is the plural Chexes? If it’s plural, what’s the singular?

It feels super credible when Klout says I’m an expert in several things I’ve literally never heard of: t.co/gJYNFKwRf…

iOS 9 updates are mostly “ooh, we found some blank space, let’s fill it with more icons.”

We’re selling a Sphero for cheap on t.co/gSdlnvhvr… today, so you can make your own BB-8! We, uh, tried…t.co/ddoxDtieO…

Whoa. Free on-site childcare at the @xoxo festival this year. That is amazing.

The best thing about watching Secretariat race is the cameraman fighting to fit the 2nd place horse in the same shot: t.co/D0OvykSrC…

The second cup of coffee is to remind me to notice if the coffee is good.

It’s surprisingly hard to show how tiny these little quadcopters are. They’re crazily small! Got a couple myself. t.co/bubpYorJb…

All right, so how many dev sessions are there about Apple Music?

Never thought I’d be happy they didn’t take the time to talk about a new Apple TV and its new features & services.

Thanks @blueapron for clearing up how Japanese eggplants (& their emoji) do look more NSFW than the U.S. equivalent. t.co/eu59WyORs…

Hey Cable Companies, if you know I haven’t had any TV service for years, stop trying to sign me back up & start pitching me faster internet.

Happy birthday, Prince’s hair: t.co/FAbQxmJqJ…

I’m probably the only one who literally gets accidental riddles direct messaged: t.co/Pm77qDPcP…

How much do you think they’ve been offered to change their name to LinkedInPark?

So You Want To Write A British Children’s Story - Chapter 1: Kill Off The Parents, Quickly & Brutally.

If I was a baseball manager, I’d aim to get ejected in the ninth inning of every (non-tie) game.

Move over doughnut holes; I’m going to start selling Swiss cheese holes: t.co/biFNnyz1Y…

Just got my favorite accidental DM so far: t.co/NLACan62K…

I dare any sports writer to casually include “the wind blew as it did on the night the Hesperus was wrecked” in 2015. t.co/X05TnUpfu…

Baseball writing was amazing 100 years ago. t.co/Ui4lg7cfR… t.co/X78WXGsV5…

Google Maps is overrated. t.co/dAMg4WjRf…

What’s the highest you’ve counted out loud, in one sitting? I just got to two-hundred-seventy, when @___ finally fell asleep for his nap.