Dave

Loving the selection and curation over at @square marketplace: t.co/hOVQZQtqs…

I bet janitors really hate the shake-twelve-times hand washing guy.

Odd to me that TSA insists on same-sex patdowns, seemingly regardless of sexual orientation of patter or pattee.

So nice when a Cubs player helps out the kids by demonstrating how not to handle a routine play. #twohands

Looks like AT&T glitched & sent out “you’ve used 65% of your data” notices to me & many others who haven’t. (As confirmed in their app.)

Did I miss the Yahoo email telling me if I got yahoo@yahoo.com?

Final payment, September 1st, 2043.

Everything has cup holders now. Everything. So why don’t planes?

At least in Seattle I can imagine that the adults wearing Angry Birds shirts might just be Zynga employees. Oh wait, no, that’s Rovio. Ugh.

Got my first “explosives detected” red alert going through TSA. Cleared on 2nd run-through. I should get a badge or something. #helloNSA

If you put a clock on your wall, never remove it, because you will never, ever stop looking at that wall to see the time.

If you never got the awesome iOS game The Incident, it’s free for now. Get it. I’ll be checking your phone later. t.co/WknV7ba1v…

The only positive outcome of unjust court rulings is at least a momentary decline in otherwise qualified citizens shirking jury duty.

.@smiller I’m going to guess that how funky strong my fight is is inversely proportionate to how funky is my chicken.

Getting close to 40 years old and I still don’t have a good idea how funky strong is my fight.

More annoying than domain squatters are domains owned from an acquisition, that no longer make any sense but can never be allowed to expire.

Apple should release a beige box iPhone for irony.

“Mr. Rutledge? Uh no, I’m Dave, Mr. Rutledge is my baby’s name.”

I’d watch a documentary on how the raisin bran makers keep the raisins evenly distributed through the box.

With all the warnings & alerts on baby gear, I’m disappointed our baby tub doesn’t advise us to not throw the baby out with the bath water.

At the playground a kid was talking to his imaginary friend, Harold. Meanwhile, I killed a bee. So, uh, it turned out that bee was Harold.

Like those riding lawn mowers that you stand behind, but a baby stroller.

Dear 1990s photographer me - people, not things. You’ll never again look at the pics without people in them.

I bet if, when I die, I can take account of positives & negatives over my whole life, I’ll see I should’ve just stuck with a wired keyboard.

A few years back my finger missed the “stop recording” button on my iPhone & since, I’ve been recording the inverse of everything I want to.