Dave

So not only are flowers here absurdly cheap ($3 for a bouquet) they somehow miraculously last more than a week. t.co/vRC24iRy

Someone do a twitter feed outlining the (suddenly very short) plots of Three’s Company episodes if cell phones existed.

Named the surprising number of toy owls my kid has: Roker, Franken, Capone, Jolsen. Decided against Jazeera & Qaeda.

For Valentine’s Day my wife got me a 2-week-old baby! Is that even legal?!

Geek parents: You have a great excuse to grab a temporal artery thermometer. They’re quick & fun. And accurate [citation needed]!

Grease (The Musical) was set 13 years before it came out (1972 > 1959). If it came out this year, it’d be about year 2000 nostalgia.

I love when my Google searches for baby tips result in Kool & The Gang lyrics.

So, FB accounts that get tons of likes & comments for hoax pics sell them to companies to game EdgeRank, right? But where do they sell them?

Million dollar idea, apparently: solid colored, no print, no text, no illustrations baby clothes.

Was a trademark, now generic: heroin, dry ice, videotape. Still protected: adrenaline, onesies, realtor. t.co/MVKNJ6ZG

An idea to inspire creativity in a cooking show - Top Chef: Pigs Don’t Exist, Now What?

Maybe the geekiest thing I’ve ever (re)tweeted: traceroute 216.81.59.173 if you know how to do that sort of thing & watch the domains.

Determined our retirement plan: a combo knit and coffee shop. She’ll run the knitting, I’ll run the brewing. We’ll call it the Purl & Pour.

Never thought I’d be so pleased with seven hours of sleep interrupted twice.

Funny, in retrospect: just woke from a bit of a nightmare/panic realizing we hadn’t once brushed our newborn’s teeth!

You do not inspire confidence, checkout process. t.co/iMrTEGcc

The doctor said we were either well-rested or good at faking it. I think it’s more the latter, but I’m happy we’re convincing.

The baby’s swing rocks 1 way while the mobile spins the other. It reminds me of the vomit machine @grantimahara succumbed to in Mythbusters.

In a bunny seat bassinet, wearing a fox hat and an elephant sleeper, my kid is the cutest turducken ever.

The best thing the soda industry did is get all Americans to intuitively understand what 2 liters is. Step it up other industries,

John Goodman spends most of his screen time in Raising Arizona screaming. Funny what you notice while trying to keep a baby asleep.

Judging by his mood tonight, I don’t think Finn has gotten over the news about Carpenter yet.

Our blender has a switch that seems to mean “explode everything.” I suppose that’s handy if I decide I want to blend my phone someday.

I wonder what the record is for non-OCD, justified hand washings in a day.

Maybe I’ll be a lot better at football now. I’ve at least got the football hold down.