Dave

You know, no one names their kid Jar-Jar anymore.

You used to wonder why someone was driving badly, instead of knowing it was because they were using their phone.

Just heard @__’s grandmother say “you know that site to raise money, is it Indiedoodoo?”

I want Netflix add-ons. Like “put name tag stickers on everyone’s shirt” and “insert audio of people saying goodbye when the call is done.”

So much for thinking the betting markets are dependable predictors of political outcomes. t.co/OOPMQzho6…

Maybe in a future The Talk Show @gruber can ask Apple execs if they cover their laptop cameras.

This is a fun @cardinals game to be winning 7-0. t.co/gazATgGEf…

Every dinner, @___ says “cut all my food into bites & I’ll eat it all.” Every night, I do. He eats 1 bite & is done. t.co/XGyd6srbQ…

Services making me feel bad turning minor inconveniences into life tragedies. t.co/ZL7E6KnSr…

You can now buy from t.co/FblwwffVC… (if you’re VMP) by typing /buy in our forum, for some reason! t.co/C6mxKfPsO…

I’m folding laundry and @_’s little clothes are mostly square shapes. Mine are rectangles. But @’s are hypercubes.

“Hey Dad, it’s cool that you threw the Emperor into that shaft but don’t think it makes up for blowing up Alderaan. Happy Father’s Day.”

My latest stupid Star Wars theory: episode VII actually ended on Earth. Episode VIII starts “a long time ago in this galaxy…”

In a Twitter Moment, Twitter tells me about the Twitter Moment I am in. t.co/2vpQ2RjNj…

Now on the Meh forum if you start a comment with /emojify it’ll automatically swap in emoji: t.co/PPs1Lvb0c… t.co/gJIucuzn6…

At the next Twitter Ad exec meeting: “Can someone tell me why all these ads are targeting the eggplant emoji?” t.co/crdFG6RF8…

Million dollar idea: tire repair store in New Hampshire called Tread On Me.

The @washingtonpost quotes a merch rep at a Trump rally named Clinton Sanders, not asking if that’s his real name t.co/vY873jup4…

The debate over how to stop future killings like in Orlando is whether we change the first or the second amendment.

We’ve lived here almost three years but out of nowhere a beautiful lily showed up today. t.co/WWp4TiRUS…

I want to be able to delete apps from an iOS spotlight search.

Maybe Apple needs to make it more like 1500 no’s for every yes.

iMessage is the new Apple Music #keynotekiller

Oh, right, of course they needed to stop calling it OS X when iOS 10 comes out. That would have been awful.

For a second I thought they were announcing this feature request I had in 2013, but for some reason it’s Watch only. t.co/TXdFJ9qGn…