Dave

In cafe, song matches 1 in my playlist. Cool! Then 2nd - Wow. 3rd - Weird. 4th - Huh. 5th - Check phone to see if I’ve been hacked, leave.

Truffled mushroom grilled cheese. From a food truck. The end, or the beginning of times?

Piling up road trip possibilities - found out about a fake Germany to go with the fake England I had on the list.

I like the invention pitches on Shark Tank. We see that a ton of people agreed with the Insane Clown Posse that magnets are a miracle.

The weirdest aspect of Nigerian scam emails is how often they don’t realize putting “Nigerian” in there kills any chance of it working.

I’m calling this Summer. t.co/gl7FjmS8

The huge derby hats are transitioning into oversized sombreros as the night goes on.

Is the balk the least visible penalty in sports?

Found art, in the rain. t.co/iQDTYmx4

Mileage. Footage. Nice terms like these are the only way the imperial system is superior to the metric one. Kilometerage? Meterage?

Little did we realize, Albert is such a huge Cardinals fan that he decided his best move was to remove $240M from an opponents’ payroll.

What part do you not understand? t.co/iqK2yU7L

New self-realization: I think all kids are 8.

So far Gnomeo & Juliet has taken a few liberties with the original, but I have to assume they left the ending alone.

I’m trying to gauge the exact year Little Bear is set, but I feel there are a few anachronisms.

Back in the ‘20s, did some sarcastically say “You’ve got a voice for the movies.”?

It was only when I said out loud to @__ “I wonder why this @mental_floss is called the 10 Issue” that I got it.

I think recycling should just be called cycling.

How late will the season go with Yadi beating Pujols in HRs?

If retiring (& never using) a number in sports is the ultimate respect, Jackie Robinson day feels a bit awkward.

One of the best things about living in Seattle is getting Brendan Ryan’s Robert De Niro impression in Mariners ads.

Learned: Nebraska’s highest honor is to be named Admiral in the Great Navy of the State of Nebraska. t.co/SNnUkO6A

Tried Bing but when it didn’t tell me what 30 Rock’s “Po-po popped Dukie down by the vacants” was from (The Wire) I switched back to Google.

Learned: the date of Easter does end up being a cyclical pattern, but one cycle is 5,700,000 years long. t.co/VixRVdZt

Easter Sunday might be the best day to go to Good Will: they’re closed. It’s like a free-for-all flea market in the parking lot.