Dave

Why’d a cat live in a pumpkin? Because it’s crazy. #HalloweenJokes

By far the most common one on our block this year: What do skeletons say before they eat? Bone appetit! #HalloweenJokes

What’s the world’s largest pickle? A beagle. (Ok, I may have misheard this one. Maybe.) #HalloweenJokes

How do you get out of a house with no doors & no windows & all you have is a ball & a bat? Three strikes & you’re out! #HalloweenJokes

What’s the smartest blond? A golden retriever! #HalloweenJokes

How does a witch tell time? With a witch watch! #HalloweenJokes

How do you make a witch itch? Take away the w! #HalloweenJokes

What does a witch put in her hair? Scarespray. #HalloweenJokes

Why didn’t the rooster cross the road? Because it wasn’t a chicken! #HalloweenJokes

What kind of fish fights? A swordfish! #HalloweenJokes

Yikes! What starts with f and ends in ck? Firetruck! #HalloweenJokes

What’s a ghost’s favorite shoes? Boots! #HalloweenJokes

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To save his bones! #HalloweenJokes

Knock knock / spyhead / who / spyhead eats your head off! #HalloweenJokes

What do you get with 5 Siths stacked on a lightsaber? A Sith Kabob! #halloweenjokes

Why couldn’t Chingy get on the bus? Because he didn’t have 50 cent with him.

What did Delaware? New Jersey!

Why do Eskimos clean their clothes inside? Because it’s too cold outside!

The Halloween jokes begin: why do sharks swim in saltwater? Pepperwater makes them sneeze!

I like a good Fall gradient: twitpic.com/nqouh

Waiting for block pet & kid costume parade to start & irrationally proud of 5-starring While My Guitar Gently Weeps on expert drums.

Fighting my way through Beatles Beats on Rock Band. So far qualified on 1 2 3 6 8 12 13 26 33 (9 of 86). You? Double kick kills me.

Trying merit-based trick-or-treating system. Costume & joke (St. Louis tradition) determine bucket is pulled: twitpic.com/npmiq

I may have gone a little overboard. The cashier declared me the jackpot candy house.

I just became the mayor of Schnucks Hampton Village on @foursquare! bit.ly/2S8v2t