Dave

“That’s not a medical diagnosis.” — @__ is skeptical of my evidence that Bob Costas has pink eye: Seven parody twitter accounts exist.

App Idea: A clone of Flappy Bird, but you get 100 billion points for each gate you pass through.

Bear with me, I’m begging like a trained circus animal for an extra gigabyte (or, you know, more) from @TheTunnelBear. #grr #sellout

Gilligan’s Surprisingly Active Volcano #BadAfterShows @midnight

Nine Is Too Many #BadAfterShows @midnight

I created a custom vibration that is a tiny dot of buzz & then nothing, for people who text an insane amount. I named it @mantia.

Itch-A-Sketch #SadToys @midnight

It occurred to me how certain I can be I’ve never clicked a Promoted Tweet: I discovered if you hover over them, there’s a [X] DISMISS link

I wish Google would rename Adwords & Adsense to something like AdsYouBuy & AdsOnYourSite because I can never remember.

Ｗｈｅｎ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｇｉｖｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｏｎｅ　ｈｕｎｄｒｅｄ　ａｎｄ　ｆｏｒｔｙ　ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒｓ，　ｙｏｕ　ｍａｋｅ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｉｄｅｓｔ　ｏｎｅ　ｈｕｎｄｒｅｄ　ａｎｄ　ｆｏｒｔｙ　ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒｓ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ．　#ａｎｄｗｉｄｅｈａｓｈｔａｇｓｔｏｏ

Why can’t I make my iPad darker? Is there some limit to how dim screens can get? It’s surprisingly (too) bright at the lowest setting.

Ah ha! Gif To Flipbook: t.co/4GScV2G8u… (Thanks, @Del_is_TT)

.@darth Uh, yes. That. Wow. Unfortunately, so far the mediocre money isn’t at the €299 per animated gif level but soon, I’m sure.

Where’s my animated GIF to PDF flip book service?

I don’t understand why I can’t pinch to zoom any image anywhere on my iPhone, but triple-click zoom almost makes up for it.

The only way you truly win Flappy Bird is if you can convince someone else to play so you can stop playing.

Got a watch, so now when I want to know the time, I look at my watch & then a minute later realize I forgot to look at the time.

I wish Google would just go ahead & enable altavista’s method to ensure your search included the +words +you +were +searching +for.

Thinking about home automation just so my phone can have a MUTE EVERYTHING THAT HAS A SPEAKER button.

Seriously, 3,292 more characters about that same 40-character tweet. The Onion will find it hard to parody this: t.co/nD8pxAPAc…

I took the personality test “Which Human Are You?” and got Dave Rutledge.

It’s self-serving, but would it really be that hard for Twitter to verify 1-character accounts & ensure they’re not stolen? There’s 37.

It helps no one to spread the almost certainly incorrect idea that these usernames are actually worth much money.

City occupancy permit says we’re not allowed to have more than 9 kids here. I thought we’d just have 1, but now thinking 10 out of spite.

1283 characters about a 40-character tweet. Read to get a sneak peek at awful reporting we’ll get on Superbowl ads: t.co/n5DAOOpWD…