Dave

A fun way to test what frightens you more: get up on a tall ladder, reach up to change a smoke alarm & find out a spider lives inside it!

A retelling of Star Wars from the point of view of the womp rats nearly driven to extinction at the hands of the villainous Skywalker clan.

My neighbor & I have differing strategies for the snowstorm. He’s alternating shoveling & salting every 2 hours. I’m brewing more coffee.

I’m at @Hair_Saloon For Men (Webster Groves, MO) t.co/tppuzX4Ir…

At some point, and forever after that, “I’m On A Boat” has been playing on a boat somewhere on Earth.

I like to sing “The ants go marching…” backwards, counting down to one by one, as if it’s Napoleon’s March To Moscow: t.co/ghukqtHgT…

Accidentally made my 1st song of 2014 a self-written adaptation of Camptown Races titled “Nighttime Poopers (Poop All Night)”.

Went out to get a haircut, but the place closed early today. Came home & @__ complimented my new haircut, so mission accomplished!

2013 To-Do List: ☑ Wash Car (@ Waterway) t.co/Z0P8BfsXp…

Free marketing idea for @amazonvideo: Keep track of what’s expiring on Netflix on 1/1 & tell us what’s still on Prime Instant Video.

Considering a script to change all Date Modified timestamps to be at least as recent as Date Added.

I rarely have autocorrect issues, but Apple’s behind-the-scenes resizing of letter targets causes many of my “put”s to become “out”s.

Clever children’s puzzle that sounds off when complete by detecting no light: kid loses a piece & you forever alarm us at dusk. Curse you!

Nice to see @nytimes recognize the true Disrupters, like…Miley Cyrus? (@glennf when’s she going to be on your show?) t.co/yuhlLXihS…

Looking forward to Jay Z’s 99-song concept album, The Problems.

If we outlaw the word outlaw, only outlaws will be able to use this stupid saying.

“Everything is washable” has become the most repeated sentence of the year in the Underscore household.

It’s so helpful that the Wikipedia article on Polly Wolly Doodle informs me that it was used in the 3rd episode of the 4th season of Monk.

I wish @rands was still anonymous, so I could smartly guess that his initials were R and S.

The Automatic car link gadget’s reviews on Amazon are massively the Vine program where people got it free. Doesn’t everyone disregard those?

We should pick a day, like January 2nd, where we repost tweets that we thought were great but got no faves or RTs. #tryagain

I imagine if Rudolph’s nose actually glowed his fellow reindeer might not laugh & call him names but rather scream & run away or attack him.

100% approval rating for President @___. t.co/tKqJZnfRk…

Checked in on @___ & chuckled at his wonky sleeping position. While still asleep, he giggled back & gave me a big smile. #merrychristmas

I can think of little I want less than packages of spiders. t.co/d7IJAOYwH…