Dave

Life insurance is the world’s best lottery. You’re guaranteed to “win” eventually!

My phone autocorrects Whaddya to Whatcha and red underlines the former. Defining and standardizing colloquialisms is bizarre.

We debated between a cook-out and a picnic last night and settled on frozen pizza.

Considering whether I should ever play Farkle again considering the string of amazing luck in my first ever game.

If I were a camera manufacturer, I would consider it a major usability failure every time I saw thousands of flashes at a ballgame.

How many Rutledges does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 2, at least for this oddball ancient ceiling lamp. Luckily, 6 are in town.

The Cardinals greatly upgraded their Scrabble score for players’ last names.

Is there any point in pre-ordering a digital album at full price with no extras? #KWJZ

I love that I can reliably check Twitter to find out that, yes, that was thunder in Seattle.

I would be super into a Jeopardy week of personality-less ultra-geniuses and absurdly hard categories for them to show off on.

Pretty much the cutest thing ever. instagr.am/p/IXLvt/

Most helpful error message ever! instagr.am/p/IEfSO/

Whatever happened to OOG_THE_CAVEMAN? #internetAncient

Bright & sunny + vanishing fog reminds me of 90s video games. instagr.am/p/H9PKV/

I can’t believe I’m actually routing for the Astros over the Pirates.

This is supposed to be the Emerald City, but I feel like we’re living in the gray world at the beginning of the movie.

Demographic note: all serious Harry Potter fans have more than one cat.

It is a veeeeery specific type of fan that goes to a 21-and-over showing of a kids’ film. #andIGuessThatsNowMe

At Bite of Seattle, which, with 5 separate stages, qualifies as the biggest music festival I’ve ever been to.

Falling Skies is fairly entertaining so far, but I expected them to reveal that the Mechs are controlled by the children by now.

Heartbroken to discover that the Goliath Birdeater Tarantula is a misnomer.

It turns out I was not the only person who thought of kayaking today. (@ Agua Verde Paddle Club w/ 2 others) 4sq.com/oih17W

My favorite part about Seattle’s airport @ Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (SEA) instagr.am/p/HHUoR/

I’d never considered the superior cleaning abilities of the blind. instagr.am/p/GlrSb/

Me: “It’s been a long week.” Josh: “You do realize it’s 2pm on Monday?” I feel like I’m living a Woot Monkey Chat.