The genius of The Shining is that, inevitably, at some point, your kid says something that sounds very much like “red rum red rum.”
Feeling some serious kids-these-days about this Easter Egg “hunt” t.co/ojKKRAzf6…
Well that escalated quickly. t.co/jKWzxYWOd…
Secret to a good t.co/Fblwwfxx1… April Fools: Last year’s had 50 CAPTCHAs. This year, everyone says “So much more fun than that!”
Well, there goes my advantage of people getting to say more in replies to me than they can to almost any other Twitter user.
I’ll get video of @___ saying he wants to be each profession. He can use it in any job application as evidence he’s always wanted to do that
Who says bowling isn’t a team sport? t.co/HCzLfCEoJ…
That thing where you hear a word repeated & it sounds crazy, except it’s a site you named & TV hosts repeating it: t.co/ufDC1NlPG…
In a golden age with @___ where he will tell me the baseball score and game updates when I’m in the other room.
I think I like about humans is how perfectly good you can get at knowing exactly how much to swing that door so it just latches shut.
Weird being able to watch the World Baseball Classic games delayed & have zero spoilers in my feed because no one cared. It was good!
One of my favorite Chuck Berry things is his reviews of punk records in @StevePick4’s 1980 Jet Lag zine: t.co/XKnvFGsk7…
Wow, I’ve been on Twitter 10 years. Most disconcerting is realizing this avatar isn’t what I look like, but what I looked like a decade ago.
Glad to verify by winning 1st in a trivia contest (out of 45 tables) & awkward social interaction (hi @bluishorange) t.co/7QNTYAZR2…
When you sign up for a new account anywhere shouldn’t they try your email & password at the most common sites & reject it if any match?
Asked “What’s a continent?” A big piece of land that has countries in it. @___: “What countries are in Antarctica?” Ok, I’ll try again. Uh…
I like this song, unless you do too & then I don’t really like it because it’s too well liked. But until then, I do. t.co/OKIi5zzH2…
There’s no better day than National Panda Day to share this video that, even if you’ve seen it, you will enjoy: t.co/YDOJ13JnC…
This is a good baseball game but I’m having trouble paying attention because no one is talking about this GIANT DOLL THAT HAS ITS OWN DOLLS. t.co/3UqIhaiyW…
Someone should make realistic packaged meals for toddlers. One pea, one half of a chicken nugget, and seventeen crackers.
This is the best billboard ad I’ve seen on a baseball game. t.co/foPA7VcdU…
t.co/Fblwwfxx1… will one day be known not for rejuvenating the daily deal model, but for starting the Murder, She Wrote movement. t.co/cuD9hXI5n…